I should have known things weren't going to go as planned when a bird
pooped on tom's head this morning while we were packing the van. Five
hours behind schedule, we were packing the final things for our month
long, cross-country road trip, and a bird does a fly by just to stick
it to us.

We planned to leave at 5:00 in the morning, but we left at 10:30am
instead. (Bright side: we left on the right day.). We planned to do
London's nebulizer in the car using an outlet converter thingy, but it
required too much power so I had to do it at a service station.
(Bright side: while I was doing that, Tom was able to reserve the
campsite we wanted for tonight.). Annalee and London are both sick,
and I'm all stuffy and am sneezing like wild. (Bright side: they got
sick right before we left, so I was able to get the antibiotics they
both needed, plus the nebulizer.)

So... Things aren't necessarily going as planned, but as I said
yesterday, I PLANNED to be spontaneous. I know that is a bit of an
oxymoron, to plan out your spontaneity, but all of our plans have
given us a goal and a rough time frame. Here's hoping we don't
disregard that time frame so blatantly on the rest of the trip as we
did today.

So we are in Ohio, when we should be Indiana. (I have never seen so
many abandoned, brick buildings in my life.) But the kids are doing
great: coloring, decorating their hats from my mother-in-law, working
on the 60 page activity book I made for them, listening to all our
great road trip mixes, and watching Mary Poppins as I write this. We
are due to arrive at our campground in Indiana at quarter to nine.

highlights so far:
-tom patting my back and encouraging me saying "don't worry, at the
end of this trip you'll know the RIGHT time to play the air saxaphone
during Kokomo."
-marlie asking me three different times, "we can really eat these
cookies WHENEVER we want? Both of them?"
-watching the kids eat both of their cookies before we even got to buffalo.
-stopping to change two dirty diapers within two hours. The little
lady is a double deuce kinda girl.
-watching Harper beat box (tight and steady) during 'we will rock you.'
-learning that during 'we will rock you' I should really only fist
pump with my right hand because I have better control (also tight and
steady) and I am less likely to pump my fist into the sunglasses
holder. -watching tom scrub the bird poop from above his ear before
we were even close to spending a significant amount of time outdoors.

Well... That's Day 1 as it stands. At least we made it past Victor.

--
Sent from my mobile device

never in a million years...

parenting has brought so much into my life. being a mom has taught me a lot of lessons, given me so much joy, and at times a lot of heartache. it has also made me aware of how weird we are. not "we" as in the human race. but "we" as in my family. i'm weird, tom is weird. and together, we have some pretty bizarre-o kids. i love that about us, and i really love that about them.

living in a land of little weirdlings has led to some pretty strange conversations. here is a potpourri of some sentences i never imagined would come out of my mouth. many of these came out of my mouth in the past 48 hours.

  1. (gasp) "he painted the baby!"
  2. "you may NOT paint the baby."
  3. "thank you. i like your head too."
  4. "that is not poop in daddy's pits. it's hair."
  5. "please stop putting that in your ear."
  6. "please stop putting that in my ear."
  7. "if you can't think of anything to do then i will throw away all of your toys." (tom has tried to convince me that this threat is unrelated to the problem, but here was my thinking: if you can't find anything to do, then you don't need all these toys that are lying all over my house, and i can just throw them away. that way, you still won't have anything to do but at least my house is clean.
  8. "it's right here." (said in response to harper asking "where's yours brains?")
  9. "i am cooking dinner, you can get your own wedgie like a big boy."
  10. "well... you really don't marry uncles." (said in response to marlie using uncle jonny as a last resort for for a husband. she's four.)
  11. "yes, i promise." (said in response to marlie asking "can i really borrow your blue high heels for my wedding?" again, she's four.)"
  12. "your corn on the cob is NOT a drumstick."
  13. "harper, honey, there was not a fire in your room."
  14. "harper, honey, your buns were not on fire." (both of these fire-related remarks took place this morning.)
  15. "no touch technologies."
  16. "no touch-a 'tiques." (this is me reminding them, in their own language, not to touch the antique tea set sitting on my bookshelf.)
  17. "x is not a drum." (at any given time x can = a laptop, my chest, the fridge, the tray on the baby swing, the baby, etc.)
  18. "no more gremlin crying."
  19. "i am not a granny."
  20. "ok, two is not 'millions and millions.' "
  21. "ummm... i don't know if the birdie has buns."

i could seriously do this for hours. but i can't because i have a lot more weird conversations to have. so i want to know...

what is the weirdest thing you never expected to say out loud?

@laracapuano